I’ll never forget the night my cousins found out I was pregnant. They were in shock—their baby, their good girl was pregnant. We spent the night laughing, joking, and sharing disbelief. But as I was leaving, one of my guy cousins walked me to the car, and said, “Always remember, it’s mama’s baby, daddy’s maybe.”
At the time, I had been in a relationship for about a year and a half with a guy I’d known for more than five years. I chuckled and told him, “Even if we don’t work out, I don’t think he’ll ever abandon his kid.” I truly believed it.
Fast forward—my relationship didn’t work out. But despite everything, the one thing I was right about was that he didn’t abandon his child. For a time, we had a solid co-parenting schedule that gave me freedom every weekend. But like most things in life, the unexpected happened, and I was faced with a tough decision.
The Hard Reality of Single Motherhood
Being a single mama—whether by choice or circumstance—isn’t easy. It’s a lonely road. It’s tiring. It’s scary. And, if I’m being honest, it can feel downright embarrassing at times. For me, it felt like a sign of a failed relationship, another broken home, and a chapter I desperately tried to avoid.
But even though all of that was true, I realized something important. I couldn’t let that stop me from creating the life I dream of for myself and my daughter. I couldn’t let those feelings hold me back from giving her the softest, most beautiful childhood possible. More than anything, I couldn’t allow my circumstances to trap me in a victim mindset.
The Silver Lining: How Being a Single Mom Changed My Life
As tough as it’s been, being a single mom has given me more than I ever expected.
It’s brought me consistent peace. It’s taught me to stop being a pushover and a people-pleaser. It’s erased the toxicity that once stunted my personal growth.
And most importantly, it’s deepened my relationship with God. Through every challenge, I’ve learned to trust Him more than ever before. Even in the unknown, I’ve found a strength I didn’t know I had.
Now, I’m able to write this chapter of my life with intention—one rooted in wisdom and discernment—and to create a future I can be proud of.
I’m not sure how the rest of this chapter will play out, but I do know this: the journey starts with “U.S.” — Utter Survival.
Join the Utter Survival Journey
The mission behind Utter Survival is to build a supportive community of mothers navigating womanhood and motherhood while growing mentally, physically, and spiritually through Christ.
Please write me back through the connect page on this website—I’d love to hear from you and get to know you better. Let’s grow together, learn together, and support each other through this amazing (and sometimes challenging) journey of motherhood.
With love,
Janise
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