Becoming My Own Knight in Shining Armor

Hey Mamas,

I have a confession: I’m a hopeless romantic. From the movies I watch to the music I listen to and even the books I read, I am all about love, romance, thoughtfulness, and having a partner to truly build with. Honestly, I even find value in the hard parts of love because, with the right person, challenges lead to growth.

I’ve been this way since I was a teenager. In high school, I dreamed of the kind of young love that Sammie sings about in I Like It or the sweetness in Chris Brown’s Young Love. I imagined love letters, and video collages containing pictures of my boyfriend and I with The Matrimony by Wale playing in the background [remember that LOL].

But that wasn’t my story.

I didn’t start “talking” to guys until my senior year of high school, and I didn’t have my first boyfriend until I was 23. Even then, I never experienced the romance I had always craved. At times, I wondered if I was living in a fantasy world with unrealistic expectations, but seeing my close friends experincing it told me otherwise.

Still, a part of me started to believe that maybe I just wasn’t meant for that kind of love. Maybe true love and romance weren’t in my life’s “bingo cards.” 

That mindset led me to almost settle for treatment I didn’t deserve.

A Shift in Perspective

This past August My mom’s coworker, who happens to be a psychic, told her that she saw me entering a romantic relationship at the beginning of the new year, but it would be something I’d become aware of in the fall. Now, I don’t believe in psychic readings, but it was fun to joke about with family and friends.

Then the last day of fall approached, and there was not a romantic connection in sight. My friends and I went out that night, and I joked about what my mom’s coworker has said. I told them that this was my last day to find this man that would be officially mine in 2025. And y’all, by the end of the night there was still not a man in sight. LOL 

But by the end of the night something clicked: the relationship I was supposed to be entering in 2025 wasn’t with someone else—it was with myself.

Becoming the Person I Want to Marry

That realization hit hard. I thought about all the time I’d spent craving protection and provision from a man without first giving it to myself. My cousin once told me, “Nobody is coming to save you,” and he was right.

For too long, the “hopeless” part of me waited for a knight in shining armor to rescue me and shower me with love. But now, the “romantic” part of me is stepping up. In 2025, I’m committing to giving myself the romance I’ve always desired.

One of my New Year’s resolutions is to become the person I want to marry. I want to feel safe with myself before expecting to feel safe with someone else. That means showering myself with love and thoughtfulness. Whether it’s taking myself to fine dining experiences, buying myself flowers or just simply being kinder to myself. 

A Gentle Challenge

If you’ve ever craved love and romance, ask yourself: Are you giving it to yourself first? And if not, why not start now?

P.S. Do you take yourself on solo dates? If so, drop your ideas in the comments—I’m ready to romance myself!

P.P.S I couldn’t stop singing Cinderella by The Cheetah Girls the entire time I was writing this. Do you remember that song???